SEX COACHING - WHAT IS IT? YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Welcome to sex coaching in London, Manchester and via Skype/FaceTime. Here are a few words from Matt's blog to introduce sex coaching to you:
You might have images of a man (or woman) screaming over you ‘Great penetration!’ whilst you and your lover/s are, well – at it. Well, funny as that image might be, it doesn’t work like that. Not in this sex coaching form anyway…. let me tell you what it’s all about in a simple nutshell...
What I do is to gently, often very quickly, bring your awareness right back to the most important place it should be for better sex – you. Your fullest attention needs to be inside your body. I want you to really feel the body in which you reside, experience the breath, the rise and fall of your chest, the pumping of your heart. This is sometimes called 'Mindfulness'.
This has incredible positive effects on your entire body - it increases what I call body awareness and also begins to bring to your attention what it feels like to be present. You can call it mindful sex if you like, because when we are mindful, we just enjoy ourselves more instead of being, well - mindless.
Here's another example - ever thrown a meal down your throat in a hurry? Did you enjoy your food? Ever really, really taken your time to eat a meal? What was the difference?
You tasted the food, really tasted it. You enjoyed the entire meal as an experience rather than just a quick fix.
Sex is exactly the same thing.
From a practical point of view let me answer your questions about the type of sex and intimacy coaching I do:
Do I have to take my clothes off?
No. I have no issue with boundaried, professional 'hands-on' coaching but this isn't how it works when you work with me. I am a therapist who coaches which means that I can give you direct tips, detailed advice on what to do, where to do it, how and with whom etc. plus I think it is very important to help you to look at possible underlying issues that might be getting in your way sexually.
Is this the same as counselling?
Not really. Coaching is far more directive and I would say dynamic. The way I work is deeply connected with your emotions and energy system which often means that change can be very swift. It is however really helpful, as I said above, to use my therapy training should we need to look at deeper issues.
How long will it take?
A coaching session lasts 90 minutes. It is highly unlikely you will need weekly sessions. I've had patients email me just days after their first coaching session reporting immediate results - this warms my heart. Everyone is different but you will notice changes pretty much straight away.
What if I have been abused?
This is a common question and sadly common experience. This is why I personally think hands off coaching is especially supportive, along with therapy and counselling training. We can take it slowly and you will be assessed prior to the session and as such the coaching will be tailored to you and your needs.
I'm gay/bisexual can I have coaching?
Yes! Coaching on sex, relationships and intimacy should be fully inclusive of all sexual preferences, genders and identities. It deeply saddens me to see so many sex therapy and sex coaching services plastered with images of heterosexual couples (which is called heterosexism). I passionately believe in inclusivity and absolute acceptance - this means that I not only work with all sexual preferences but that I am very aware of not only homophobia/biphobia but also heterophobia. I want you all to feel very comfortable working with me. It's the rich tapestry of life yes?
So the above are the most common questions asked. Please feel free to call or email to ask yours. Matt very much looks forward to working with you. More info on sex coaching in London and nationally (or internationally via a workshop or 1-1 coaching via Skype) here: sex coaching and for relationship support: relationship coaching.
Sex worker? Please visit the Counselling for Sex Workers page.
For fees and how to book please see the 'Fees' page.
To book your appointment please call 07716 232 865.